When someone you love is struggling
You can’t make someone get better. But you have more influence than you think, and how you use it matters. This guide covers what to say, what to avoid, and how to take care of yourself too.
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Loving someone with an addiction is exhausting. You may feel angry, scared, guilty or all three. Those feelings are normal, and you deserve support too.
Signs to look for
- Changes in mood, sleep, appetite or energy that don’t make sense
- Secrecy, lying, or new friends they won’t talk about
- Money or valuables going missing; prescriptions running out
- Slipping at work or school, or dropping things they used to love
- Smells, slurred speech, pinpoint or dilated pupils, nodding off
- Defensiveness or anger when the subject comes up
How to start the conversation
The approach with the strongest research behind it is called CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training). It teaches families to use positive communication and everyday moments to encourage change. In clinical trials, most families who learned CRAFT got their loved one into treatment.
Try this
- Pick a calm time when they’re sober
- Start with love: “I’m worried because I care about you”
- Name specific things you’ve seen
- Use “I” statements about how it affects you
- Listen more than you talk
- Have a treatment option ready before you start
Avoid this
- Talking when they’re high, drunk or hungover
- Labels like “addict” or “alcoholic”
- Lectures, threats you won’t follow through on
- Ambushing them in front of a crowd
- Covering for them or cleaning up consequences
- Expecting one talk to fix everything
“I love you, and I’m scared. I’ve noticed you’ve been missing work and you seem really low. Would you be willing to talk to someone with me this week?”
If they say no
“No” is rarely the final answer. Keep the relationship warm, notice and reward sober time, and let natural consequences happen instead of rescuing them from every one. Bring it up again when a moment opens, often after a hard consequence. Having a program lined up means you can act quickly when they say yes.
Call us before the conversation. We’ll check their insurance and find programs with openings, so a “yes” can turn into a plan the same day.
Be ready for an overdose
- Keep naloxone (Narcan) at home and in the car if anyone uses opioids, pills or street drugs.
- Know the signs: unresponsive, slow or no breathing, blue or gray lips, pinpoint pupils.
- Call 911, give naloxone, and put them on their side. Florida’s Good Samaritan law protects people who call for help during an overdose.
When someone is in danger and refuses help
Florida’s Marchman Act allows a family member to petition the court for involuntary treatment when someone has lost control of their substance use and is a danger to themselves or others. It’s a serious step, and sometimes the right one. Read our Marchman Act guide.
Take care of yourself
You can’t pour from an empty cup. Family groups and therapy help you set boundaries, cope with stress and stop carrying this alone.
Questions people ask us.
Don’t see yours? Call or text (305) 701‑0439. There are no wrong questions, and nothing you tell us leaves the call.
Should I stage an intervention?
Surprise, confrontational interventions can backfire. Research favors approaches like CRAFT, which teach families to encourage treatment through positive communication. If you want a professional interventionist, choose one who uses an invitational, non-confrontational approach.
Should I stop giving them money?
Money can easily fund use. It’s reasonable to stop giving cash and instead pay for specific things directly, like groceries or a phone bill, or to offer help that supports treatment.
What if they’re an adult and refuse treatment?
Keep the door open, keep your boundaries and keep supporting small positive steps. If they’re in danger, Florida’s Marchman Act lets families petition a court for involuntary treatment.
Can I call you even if they don’t know?
Yes. Many of our calls come from family members. We’ll help you understand options and plan your next step.
Related guides
Florida law · GuideThe Marchman Act, explainedFlorida’s involuntary treatment law, explained for families.
Read more
ResourcesResourcesHotlines, Narcan, support groups and a glossary.
Read more
Insurance & costPaying for treatmentWhat your plan covers, what you’d pay, and options without insurance.
Read moreTalk it through with someone who knows Miami’s programs.
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